Daily updates – Page 162 – a sibilant intake of breath

At the cusp of a new term

Trinity term officially begins today, which means half again as much reading and paper writing as has taken place so far, all in the course of the next eight weeks. The core seminar for this term is the development of the international system from 1950 to present, which basically means great power diplomatic and military history. I think we’re all appreciative of the fact that it’s territory we’ve basically all covered to one extent or another before. You could hardly get this far if you hadn’t.

Looking back over the break, it has been quite a good one. I travelled to Chichester, Arundel, and Malta. I saw Sarah get married. I spent a week with my mother. I met a number of new and interesting people. I read some good books. I applied (unsuccessfully) for a number of scholarships, as well as submitting a paper to the MIT International Review. I wrote the qualifying test, in fairly respectable fashion. I moved to a new place. I cycled a few hundred kilometres, in aggregate. That’s pretty good for six weeks.

New duties

Along with the Vice-Presidential position, I have been given responsibility for the Strategic Studies Group website. I can already tell that it is orders of magnitude more complex than any website I’ve ever operated before. Looks like I will spend some portion of the next year learning how to use MySQL databases and the various content-management applications that keep the thing going. If all goes wrong, I made a full backup before I touched anything – a very time consuming task when there are thousands of sub-directories.

The first step, of course, is to quickly learn the nuts and bolts of posting informational updates. Later, I can really get acquainted with the innards of the site and the way it operates. Despite the fact that it doesn’t seem to use much more bandwidth than a sibilant intake of breath, they have an absurdly large amount allotted.

[6:03pm] Within hours of taking over the OUSSG site, I managed to crash it completely, by not understanding the way the content management system, the SQL databases, and the FTP server talk to one another. I managed to fix it by manually editing a configuration file, since the way I screwed it up completely disabled the web-based CMS. I am going to leave the whole thing alone for a while now…

Summary of summery pursuits

From late afternoon to early morning, today was a social whirlwind. I bumped into Lucy and Leonora on my way to Edwina’s sendoff. From there, I ducked out of The Turf for a bit to watch croquet in New College with Madgdy and Rob Moore. Then, I briefly went back to The Turf before heading to St. Cross College to watch more croquet and drink Pimms, in what I am told is an Oxonian tradition. It’s probably the influence of Dune upon me, but with her pashmina and blue eyes, Edwina had more than a bit of the Fremen look to her. She leaves for Australia tomorrow.

Later, I attended a dinner party at my new flat. All good fun, we listened to my ‘Demure’ playlist on the iPod Shuffle while eating, drinking, and exchanging stories. I appreciate the extent to which living with Kai and Alex draws me into new social environments, and into the company of new people.

That said, the party is ongoing, and it is anti-social to be elsewhere. Tomorrow, I delve into Kerouac, as well as taking over responsibility for the Strategic Studies Group website.

PS. This web comic I discovered today Diesel Sweeties will probably amuse those who make no attempt to suppress their nerdy tendencies. There are robots, and characters rendered as though on the SNES.

PPS. For about a week now, about five people a day have been finding the blog by clicking this picture of Tallinn at night when it comes up on Google Image Search. It isn’t a terribly good photo. I wish some of my better work was being showcased.

Well endowed with fiction

With the completion of the exam, I find that my way of thinking about things quite unrelated to it has changed rather a lot. A kind of generalized urgency that had been prevalent before has softened a bit, leaving me more willing to take things as they come. I used my book token from one of the brain scan experiments to buy two books this afternoon: Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. I hope to get a good start on both over the weekend, as well as finishing my re-reading of Dune and The Skeptical Environmentalist. Reading fiction is one of the best things about times not yet endangered by papers and exams; of course, I’ve not been known to cease completely even during such times.

Our respite from schoolwork is not destined to be long-lived. Lectures resume on Monday and on Tuesday, we have our first core seminar discussion for the history from 1950 to present segment. I am told it’s on nuclear deterrence: an especially appropriate topic given the ongoing kerfuffle about Iran.

PS. Those who have not yet seen it should check out my brother Mica’s White Rabbit video. You can leave comments about it on his blog.

Housewarming party

The housewarming party was a great success. The timing was good, the attendance was good, and the environment was good. At least half the program showed up, and probably a rather higher fraction. Food and drink were consumed; the completion of the QT was celebrated; and people interacted with one another in a way well outside the academic. In particular, it was interesting to meet the significant others of a number of fellow members of the program: Iason, Emily, and Tarun – for instance.

I am sure the gathering could have been a fine sociological opportunity, but I was far too entangled to reach any judgment. I just hope that people enjoyed themselves.

PS. There’s something about playing a Melissa Ferrick song in the UK and having it recognized that is profoundly cool. In the end, it is the unexpected that propels us forward in the social universe.

Preparations complete

Living in a place with a proper kitchen has already taught me just how much better grilled cheese sandwiches with fried and marinated tofu are than the sort assembled on your desk, beside the computer. Like cleaning my room or sorting things, preparing relatively elaborate food (by my standards) is one way to escape the anxious clock-watching that my pre-exam hours tend to centre around.

During the last few hours, I have found myself at a bit of a loss, in terms of deciding what to study. Normally, I would be studying specific facts I thought likely to appear on multiple-choice or short-answer questions, but this test will include neither. You cannot cram broad themes and historical periods.

I really dislike the nights before exams: they are one of those grim times in life – like during exams themselves – when you are excessively aware of your position in time. In almost all circumstances where that is the case, it is because something at least potentially bad is about to happen. The feeling of being inescapably fixed in a constrained time-stream can effectively strip away the sense of being prepared or capable. Likewise, the feeling of being exceptionally awake contrasts unnervingly with my standard perpetual quasi-tiredness.

I should go for a walk.

[8:10pm] After a long and aggressive bike ride in the drizzle, I feel dramatically better. I headed north up Woodstock Road, eventually turning west onto a road that took me to Cassington. From there, I followed steeples along a much smaller road until I was in Yarnton. By then, I was pretty thoroughly lost – and yet, I sensed Oxfordness to the South and managed to get home before it was even really dark. The bit between Cassington and Yarnton – which you can see on this Google map – was definitely the nicest. It was the kind of countryside that makes one think about stealth camping, of the kind Meghan Mathieson pioneered with me.

Soon to be examined

The second-to-last pre-QT day has passed. It’s a good sign that I find myself going over things again, somewhat uncertain of how I should spend the rest of the time. That I am doing so seems to be an indication that I am fairly well covered, already. Thankfully, none of the examiners is a historian. As such, we are likely to get less badly criticized for failing to mention this or that theory or historian. As with the theory section, it is argumentation that is crucial.

Since a big part of the test is rhetoric, the wisest course seems to be to choose the questions to which you can give the most elegant answer – rather than the ones you know most about. That is why I am studying everything in reasonable detail – with a focus on times, countries, and questions that interest me – rather than preparing specific topics in hopes that they will appear.

Seeing Claire again this morning was really good. The return of friends to Oxford is the best thing about classes resuming.

A quick appeal to fellow students

Regarding the gathering of MPhil students on Thursday, after the QT: neither me, Alex, or Kai have a real stereo. If someone could lend us something with enough power to provide music for the party, we would be grateful. We have lots of music, but are distinctly lacking in watts.

iPod the Fourth arrived today; may it outlast its predecessors. I appreciate that it is actually possible to update two iPods at once, using my iBook. Even with the 20GB version available again, I suspect I will use the 1GB Shuffle frequently. The big advantages of the Shuffle are its size and simplicity: an excellent second iPod.
Today also brought the results of the interviewing section of the qualitative methods exam: which I passed, with nice things said about my work.
The clock tower near out flat tolls 156 times a day. I quite like the sound and experience of it; it makes me feel more in control of where I am, in relation to all temporal events.

One orbital notch

One year ago, today, I held my graduation barbecue in North Vancouver. Much like my departure party, it was a fun combination of good friends, nice weather, and satisfying food and drink. Most of the people who attended are now in Vancouver, though Nick Sayeg is in Australia, Tristan is in Toronto, and Gabe is in Helsinki. Karen Furstrand was there.Two years ago, today, Meghan and I were working on Milton essays and geocaching all over the campus of the University of British Columbia. Then, as now, exams were a few days away. Then, as now, I was especially worried about whether my knowledge of 20th century history would prove adequate.

Three years ago, today, I was incensed by the low quality of teaching in my comparative politics class, as taught by a pair of married professors at UBC. I noted with approval that the quality of teaching at a graduate program in the UK would be better, and that I would appreciate the chance to live for a couple of years outside of Canada.

The public face of my life has been remarkably consistent, though the hints and shadows of crisis and discord are in that listing, as well.

Of upcoming jobs and tests

Happy birthday Jennifer Ellan

Anyone who has been walking in the central part of Oxford lately will understand why my fallback idea of a summer job in the tourist industry is probably a sound one. The digital camera wielding masses increase in numbers and density with every passing weekend. Quite probably, the spectacle presented by my classmates and I walking around in the whole outrageous sub fusc outfit will provide them with the kind of experience they came here in search of. Working as a tour guide is a position that appeals to me. It would involve being outside, as well as really getting to know Oxford. Once the QT is over, I will investigate what is involved in getting such a job, and when one would have to begin. Naturally, my preference would be for something more academic, if it were available.

QT preparation carries on respectably. Based on my conversations with a great many people, it has become plain that your argumentative style is of absolutely critical importance on an Oxford examination. Questions at UBC were generally just a vessel, into which you were expected to pour factual information, within an argumentative context that was not always terribly important. Check marks would appear beside things like references to particular treaties, authors, or battles. Here, such references are still required, but will only get you anywhere within an argument that is quite tightly directed, as well as in keeping with certain rhetorical guidelines.

The first strategy suggested by that kind of test is to ‘can’ responses – in the way that people prepare cases to use at debate tournaments before they leave. Most people with whom I have spoken are doing something along these lines. They are choosing theoretical positions or historical topics and preparing specifically for them, in anticipation of the fact that some combination of questions they have prepared will be on the test.

This strategy does not appeal to me very much. Perhaps I flatter myself in thinking that I can come up with a more interesting answer on the spot, but I don’t think my hopes with regards to the value of spontaneity are entirely misplaced. They do tend to ask questions about standard issues (such as appeasement or the causes of the first world war), but they tend to include a bit of a twist in the question that requires your response to be written along a somewhat unfamiliar grain. Perhaps those who have extensively prepared on specific topics will be less capable of paying appropriate attention to the adaptation that questioning style requires. Given how much my supervisor and others have stressed the importance of both answering and interrogating the particular question, that would be problematic.

In the three days of revision I have left, I will finish reading the papers that I have traded with classmates. I will also give my boiled down notes another going-over or two, try to memorize a few specific ideas from particular theorists and historians, and possibly re-read things I have written here about readings that particularly caught my interest. It is those things – the ones that I felt some passion for at the time I learned about them – that I have by far the best hope of remembering and of writing something convincing about.

Alex, Kai, and I are throwing a housewarming party on Thursday night, after the QT. It is unofficially Flying Spaghetti Monster themed. Those who have not yet been touched by his noodly appendage can read the Wikipedia article or the open letter that began the movement.
A valuable discovery made today: a quadruple Starbucks espresso on ice only costs 10% more here than in Vancouver. Surprisingly, it only has about 360mg of caffeine in it, compared to more than 400 for a Venti-sized drip coffee. (Based on figures provided by Starbucks spokesperson Lara Wyss.) For my part, I enjoy eating the ice at the end.
With a wrench and all the torque I could muster, I tightened every possible bolt on my bike. Hopefully, this will put a stop to the spontaneous mid-ride disassembly that was making my trips more anxious than they might otherwise have been.
The latest additions to my (ever longer) discretionary reading list are Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and Alexandr Solzhenitsyn’s The Gulag Archipelago. I saw them side by side in Blackwell’s and could hardly resist buying one or the other. Perhaps a job there would be a good idea.

Migrations

Five days until the qualifying test

I am excited about the upcoming term, not least because Oxford is going to be populated again. Spending so much of the break out of contact with Claire, Emily, Bryony, Margaret, and others has been less than excellent. It has also been less of a spur to study than one might expect or hope. For me, the social element of academic work is crucial. The shared experience of being in the program is a major motivation that erodes a bit in the relative isolation of revision periods. That said, I am managing to buckle down fairly well for the last few days before the exam.

As I acquired a keycard to use the laundry room at St. Antony’s, I decided that I will pay little heed to what Alex told me about ‘migrating’ between colleges as an M.Phil student: namely, that it cannot be done. By stealth, I will become a fixture of the St. Antony’s laundry, dining, and social facilities. Library access, I am told, is out of the question. I am undaunted; after all, there will always be the SSL.

I want to read the new book of Seamus Heaney poetry, but I must resist until after the QT. I was proud of my UK sophistication when I instantly recognized the significance of the title.
Much as I like talking with all of you, I am on a self-imposed Adium ban until the QT is over. Adium is a free Mac program that talks to MSN, ICQ, Google Talk, AIM, and other instant messenger programs. If you see me on one of these services, shout at me until I go study instead. For those with a burning need to speak with me, I suggest email or a comment on the blog. I may also be on Skype from time to time.

Pastoral wandering

I spent most of today exploring the area around Church Walk. The best discovery, by far, is that we are only two turns and six minutes away from the Port Meadow. Sitting beside the flooded portion of the meadow, immersed the direct afternoon sun, there was the uncanny sense of being profoundly disconnected from my whole environment. I could even see the blood vessels in my retinas: silhouetted in green against the grass and sky.

Out there in the late afternoon, with sun, breeze, and a brie baguette, it was a supremely attractive place. As the sun set, and its light grew redder, all the trees and church spires in the distance were cast with shadows and gorgeous hues. Living right beside a church spire conjures a really effective sense of place.

Seeing all this made me look forward to the summer, when I will have only financial and vague thesis commitments with which to concern myself. Our local environment seems to be the kind of place in which you need to spend a lot of time wandering alone, before you might bring some trusted individual along with you. As most of my trusted individuals are very far from here at present, it’s an arrangement that suits me well.

QT strategy

Thinking about the QT, the question now seems to be whether it is worthwhile to push for a distinction. On the basis of the revision I have already done and my practice exam, Dr. Hurrell predicts that I will score in the high sixties. The amount of effort required to push that into the low seventies is probably very high: considering only a couple of people among the 28 in the program are likely to achieve that. The benefits are mostly prestige vis a vis the faculty and fellow students. The best plan, I think, is simply to prepare to a good extent – focusing on the shortfalls that Dr. Hurrell identified – and hope for inspiration to strike on the day of the exam.