climate change activist and science communicator; photographer; mapmaker — advocate for a stable global climate, reduced nuclear weapon risks, and safe human-AI interaction
Generally musings of the day, usually accompanied by a photograph
I have just received word by email that on the basis of my supplementary oral (viva) exam, the examiners in Canadian politics have awarded me a passing grade on my comprehensive exam.
This means I carry on with the PhD program, and that I will have another (harder) comp to write in public policy in a few months.
Maddeningly, I am still waiting for a final result on my Canadian politics comprehensive exam, and I still don’t know whether I will be writing the Public Policy comp this spring or remaining in the PhD program next year. In all probability, these many delays have simply been the result of bureaucratic inefficiency, but they have a tendency to feel punitive or malicious nonetheless.
Regardless of long-delayed exam results, I have a heap of obligations that built up during comp prep and which have yet to be discharged, including coursework, reading set aside when urgently studying, a job application, preparation for Summer Resident Program work, over 100 unanswered emails, revision for the next comp (in the event I end up writing it), work for Toronto350.org (including writing the March 6th lecture for the president of U of T), etc.
Hopefully, the absence of classes and reading and teaching obligations during reading week will contribute to the advancement of those aims.
Back in 2011, I identified some of the reasons why I was considering starting a PhD:
My hope is that I would be able to do my research on something of practical importance, and that I could do useful work of my own at the same time as the doctoral program was progressing. It would certainly be pleasant to get back into a university environment.
So far, I haven’t done much research within the PhD program, aside from the limited sort that is necessary for assignments. I have devoted a pretty good amount of time to outside projects of my own – particularly Toronto350.org and photography. In fact, the enormous amount of difficulty I have been having with my first comprehensive exam is probably reflective of the degree to which I can muster a lot more enthusiasm for that sort of work than I can for undertaking a comprehensive review of the political science literature, including in areas of little interest to me and to my intended research topic.
After two years in a PhD program, it seems fair to say that if your only obligations are coursework and teaching, it is possible to devote a fair amount of time to outside projects of our own. Once comprehensive exams come up, however, that becomes far less possible. Furthermore, if you have any intention of getting an academic job, you probably need to be devoting nearly all your time to PhD work, including cultivating relationships within your department, getting papers published, attending conferences, and all the related work of building the scaffolding for an academic career.
After nearly a year of constant exam stress, my stamina to continue jumping the hurdles that constitute the PhD program feels almost completely exhausted. And yet, next week will be critical for determining whether or not I will be able to continue with the program.
The one source of motivation that keeps me from entirely collapsing is my sense of what a wonderful community Massey College is. Leaving the program would necessarily involve leaving Massey one year earlier than would otherwise be possible.
At the same time, I recognize that I have had a tremendous amount of difficulty with the easier of my two comprehensive examinations. Even if I get through next week, I will have a significantly more daunting barrier to overcome in a few months.
The main skill acquired in PhD programs: Learning to deal with poverty and unrelenting stress while overcoming a myriad of procedural hurdles and pursuing a distant and uncertain objective that – even if achieved – will probably provide no career or financial benefits.
Yesterday I went to bed early and slept for fifteen hours straight. Now, six hours after waking, I am exhausted again. My schedule for the next two weeks, as well as for the next month, is brutal.
I may be reaching the limits of my mental fortitude.
I am still waiting to learn whether I got the grade I needed on my Canadian politics re-comp, and therefore whether I will still be in the PhD program next year. All I have been told is that I should be getting the information soon.
It seems that I will be talking a course on public policy and another on qualitative methods this term, while continuing to work as a TA for the U.S. government and politics course.
I have another comprehensive exam coming up, so I probably won’t be auditing anything this term. I will be continuing to help with organizing the fossil fuel divestment campaign at the University of Toronto.
The comp is on Friday at (I think) 10:00am.
That leaves me 60 hours until the exam, equivalent to the length of 15 comps.
[Update: 8 January 2014] I confirmed it today: the comp is definitely from 10am to 2pm on Friday. On Friday evening, Massey College has its first high table of 2013. There are now 42 hours (10.5 comp lengths) of waiting left.
[Update: 15 January 2014] Here are the questions I was offered, and which I chose to write on, this time around.