Daily updates – Page 159 – a sibilant intake of breath

Law and uncertainties

Walking home from the third and least well attended bloggers’ gathering, through this city of strangers, I found myself thinking about the law. It has been a frequent topic of contemplation for me, of late. The way in which the common law, especially, tries to marry thought with power is fascinating. Precedents, rules of interpretation, and styles of thinking are all part of a complex and self-referential body that nonetheless manages to produce a high degree of coherence and maintain broad respect. People may not have much faith in lawyers, in particular, but there is a high level of faith in the system in its entirety. The contrast with something as amorphous (and oft derided) as ‘international relations’ is welcome.

The major reason I don’t see the law as an appealing personal option is because of the kind of life it seems to promise: one of perpetual brutal competition. Coming to a place like Oxford both produces a conviction that you are reasonably intelligent and a certainty that you cannot take on the world. Even trying is a major effort in self-sacrifice for what is ultimately largely personal gain. The question to grapple with, then, is that of what you want to achieve and what you feel that you must.

Returning to the matter of the law, the appeal lies in how it promises the possibility of satisfying my two main long-term objectives. The first of those is to secure the requirements of a good life, in terms of friendships, skills, material resources, and the like. The second is to effect some positive change upon a deeply troubled and unjust world. Part of the reason why I’ve felt as though I have been thrashing around a bit here is that, while I feel that I am advancing these aims, I feel as though I am doing so in a glancing and indirect manner.

My thanks to Robert, Ben, and Antonia for interesting conversation at The Bear tonight. In particular, meeting Ben was a welcome experience.

Class and OUSSG day completed

After the Stategic Studies Group meeting tonight, I learned that something can be both ‘green’ and ‘beer.’ Nobody denies that the Turf has exposed people to new experiences. Tomorrow morning, it’s back to the mechanical paper-writing process.

There are a number of people with whom I really miss speaking: whether by letter, email, instant message, or face to face.

No consequential thoughts; well justified apologies

Happy Birthday Alison Benjamin

Matters scholastic

I’ve submitted the final version of my research design essay. Many thanks to Claire, Tristan, and Meghan for having a look at it. We shall see what the examiners think. For my part, I think it will form the basis of a valuable and interesting research project – one that I will have no excuse not to advance enormously over the summer. During these last two weeks of term, I need to give a presentation (Tuesday of 7th week), submit a paper for the core seminar (same), and write another three papers for Dr. Hurrell. The unipolarity/great power paper originally meant for him looks like it will become a core seminar paper instead. Thankfully, he is being understanding, given the imperative of finishing the RDE.

Other

Due to numerous oversights on my part, I managed to almost completely miss Bryony’s birthday party. My apologies to all. Missing a party in your own flat is less than very excusable.

[Update: 30 May 2006, 2:21am] It should be noted that The New Covent Garden Food Company’s Tuscan Bean soup is extremely delicious. Even after consuming 1L of it after 2:00am, I still want more.

Reminiscing about LIFE

Photo from www.thenaturalcoast.com

Since I was feeling vaguely ill all day, I made lunch and dinner stir-fries with large amounts of ginger. I don’t know why, but I’ve always found that ginger helps with nausea and general feelings of being unwell. The captain of the Duen first told me about it, during the first LIFEboat flotilla. A floating sustainability conference which took place on more than a dozen tall ships, the LIFEboat flotilla was one of the best weeks of my life, even though I was ridiculously seasick for much of it, on account of gale force winds and huge waves.

The Duen was a small ship – far smaller than the Pacific Swift, which was my berth for the second Flotilla. When tacking upwind, the boat listed at an angle of about thirty degrees, with me clinging to the upper lip in a borrowed survival suit: lent to me because I had to be on deck in the pouring rain all the time because I was so seasick. For years afterwards, I couldn’t stand the sight, smell, or taste of scones, because that’s what people kept trying to feed me. Despite all that, spending a week traveling through British Columbia’s Gulf Islands in a tall ship is an amazing experience. More so when you’re in a group like the one Jeff Gibbs created and which has been supported by people like David Suzuki and Jane Goodall, who I actually met during the first flotilla.

Leadership Initiative for Earth (LIFE) is a Vancouver based environmental organization that I was involved with for several years. I attended a conference of theirs at a high school with Jonathan. I then took part in two Flotillas, each of which required a large amount of environmentally related community service in order to be eligible. Jonathan and I worked at the Wild Bird Trust in North Vancouver, planting trees and pulling out poles from a frozen swamp. We also had to give presentations and slide shows afterwards. I gave one at the Vancouver Folk Festival, after the second flotilla. It was really excellent, because I got a free Folk Festival pass in the process.

One of the best things about the two flotillas was learning a bit of marine navigation. Because of the complexity of the Gulf Islands and their tides, the importance of maps, navigation, and location there are considerable. There are many passes that can only be used at certain times, because of the tides. During the second flotilla, I got to help with the coordination of the fleet overall: managing where different ships would stop at different times. The flotilla mostly took place on the ships, interacting with the members of your group, but there were also excursions on shore. We visited a sustainably harvested forest and got to touch sea cucumbers brought up by divers.

I wish I had some photos to post, but they are all in Vancouver in non-digital form. The one above wasn’t taken by me, but it does show the ship I was on for the first flotilla, in a place much like many we visited.

The original WildLIFE conference happened in 1995, when I was only twelve. As such, I probably didn’t get as much from it as most participants, nor was I able to contribute very effectively. The Flotillas were in 1997 and 1998, respectively. Since then, I’ve largely lost touch with the organization. The only participant with whom I’ve had any contact is Kevin Millsip, one of the two leaders of my group in 1996. He is now a Trustee on the Vancouver School Board; perhaps Sasha Wiley will meet him one day.

At one point, it seemed that LIFE had changed its name. At other points, I couldn’t seem to find anything about it at all. I am glad to see that they seem to be active at the moment. Apparently, “there have now been five Flotillas, all extraordinary learning adventures for the 750 youth who participated.” I wish I had stayed in contact with members of my two groups. At the time, I think being rather younger than most of the other participants impacted my ability to relate directly with them. Even so, I am incredibly glad to have been involved.

I strongly suspect the whole LIFE experience has impacted on my choice of discipline and sub-field. To be simultaneously exposed to a place as beautifully alive as the Gulf Islands and such a group of committed and motivated people is a powerful combination, as Gibbs must have anticipated. I am sure my fellow participants are also grateful for his imagination and initiative.

Nearly a year in the Oxford system

Of course, ‘a year’ in this context means just 24 weeks, with some work done in the breaks between the eight week terms.

The academic life of a graduate student can seem rather sparse. As an undergraduate, I would have five lectures a week, plus an equivalent number of seminars, plus anything optional. Here, I have two seminars a week, no lectures, and a somewhat greater variety of optional things. Mostly, that consists of the strategic studies meetings, events put on by STAIR, the global health group, and the global economic governance program, as well as anything miscellaneous that comes up. Because basically all lectures are one-off affairs, they don’t provide the kind of progression of knowledge that accompanies a two-month lecture series. While I know graduate school is meant to be about deepening knowledge within an established base, I still feel as though there are so many areas where my knowledge and understanding are still at a rather basic level.

At UBC, I would write about five research papers in a four-month term: based on several weeks worth of research. Here, terms only last two months, and I will write about eight papers of similar length which are nonetheless much less creative and extensively researched. At UBC, you had to find a topic, to some extent, in senior courses. Here, you just need to find a satisfying way of answering a set question.

All told, I am very glad to have gone to UBC before I came to Oxford. I think my level of education, in the end, will be rather higher than if I had done both degrees here or at places like here. The significantly greater reputation of Oxford should be an aid towards getting into jobs and other academic programs later. Likewise, the level of discussion and general accomplishment among members of my program is far above the UBC mean. Even so, I think I learned rather more there than I am here, both in aggregate and per unit time.

Anticipating summer

Over the course of a day so gloriously warm and bright it made me astonished to think I was decked out in Gore-Tex yesterday, I dropped off my first summer job application at Blackwells. I will follow it up with applications at lesser bookshops, tour guiding agencies, and possibly pubs. With a bit over two weeks left in the term, now is definitely the time. I want something interesting that will pay the cost of living and include enough flexibility for me to do thesis research and undertake between two and four trips of a week or so in length.

Another thing I am seeking is voluntary organizations with which to be involved over the summer. I am looking for things that will stand in for classes as opportunities to get to know people and spend time with them on a regular basis. Possibilities include walking or cycling groups, photographic societies, or anything else that corresponds with either an existing interest of mine or one I might develop. Suggestions would be most welcome.

Spring deluges

In four consecutive cycles today, I got drenched, hailed upon, and the progressively drier in the period leading up to the next drenching. Between intense downpours of hail and icy rain, the day has been alternatively overcast in the cheerful way or actually sunny. While raining, the sheer volume of water falling in the air around me was enough to make me fear electrocution by the iPod standard headphones I’ve had to fall back upon since my better headphones broke.

Unwilling to get tricked again, I responded in the afternoon in a manner familiar to all Vancouverites: Gore-Tex shoes, pants, and jacket – topped off with a waterproof hat. If you haven’t noticed, I am the sort to occasionally revel in the technical solution of problems. The shoes, I thank my mother for. She was kind enough to equip me with them while she was in the UK. The jacket I’ve had for ages; the pants, I recall testing with Meghan on a particularly stormy day along Wreck and Tower Beaches, on campus at UBC. The hat did sun protection service in Malta, as well as rain protection service on canoeing trips.

Naturally, now that I am thus equipped, the chances of it raining heavily again on the way to or from the Saint Antony’s International Review (STAIR) launch tonight are virtually nil.

PS. My congratulations to the newly-minted Louise Little, B.Sc (Hons), on the completion of her undegraduate degree.

PPS. Stir fries comprising olive oil, dried chillies, ginger, tofu, bell pepper, mushrooms, tomatoes, and black bean sauce are quite delicious. While they take approximately forty times longer to prepare than the caloric equivalent in bagel-cheese form, it’s probably a worthwhile investment, if only because it makes the house smell like black bean sauce.

General update, in a brightening hour

After an even more marathon Tuesday than is the norm, I am left feeling as though I understand the nature of Oxford a bit better. More an intersection between curves than a zone of space, it imbues a fleeting quality to much of what transpires here. Papers and sources will be forgotten, names will become little more than long archived emails. I suppose this is true of all places, save that the volatility is usually concealed by the ongoing existence of a large group of people with whom you relate. That purpose here is served to a good extent by the program and the college: both institutions which I value highly for generating a kind of cohesive social framework to accompany essay writing and all the rest. Likewise, my enduring appreciation extends to those individuals who have helped make this phase of life feel more grounded in all the rest of it, by being willing to share something of themselves.

Five days remain until the submission of the dreaded research design essay. It feels as though the whole program is holding its breath: feeling guilty for every moment not spent churning away at the thing. The wise thing to do will be to finish a draft quickly, tweak it over the course of a few days, and then relax at the time when many other people will begin to get overcome with anxiousness. We shall see if such prudence into policy translates.

the blonde was called ‘freedom; the dark one ‘enterprise’

Grim gray rainy Oxford day. My supervision went well: a written paper praised and two unwritten ones anticipated. A week remains, now, to finish the research design essay – from preface to methodology to bibliography. Negative time remains before my ‘great power’ paper should have been submitted, but I shall endure. I’ve discovered three clever axes across which to answer the question, the strategy that seemed to find such favour with the ‘domestic sources of American foreign policy’ paper, two terms ago.

It’s really too ugly a day for a photo, but I will try extra hard to get something excellent, next time I see something intriguing or beautiful. (This from someone who actually enjoys and misses the rain for which Vancouver is characteristic.) Anyhow, the photo above was taken on my last day back in Vancouver.

2 Church Walk burgled

Sometime between midnight and 2:00am last night, somebody pried open my roommate Kai’s locked window and stole his laptop. Thankfully, it is covered by the college’s insurance policy, though he still lost about a month’s worth of work – including draft work on the research design essay. With the police arriving at around 4:00am and leaving after 5:00am, accompanied by the sounds of early morning birds, it was another very late night. Given that Kai had to catch a bus to the airport at 8:00am to fly back to Germany, that is especially true for him.

This is the second laptop belonging to a member of the M.Phil in IR program to be stolen from a house on Church Walk this year. It’s enough to make you rather nervous, especially since those of us with rooms on ground level with large windows can do relatively little to deter theft. I shall, at least, resume my practice of twice-weekly backups to the DPIR terminal server.