Possessions are anchors

Ottawa has never been my favourite city. While I have certainly met some people here who I like a great deal, and while there are certainly interesting kinds of work to be done here, I miss the beauty and familiarity of Vancouver. I also miss the options and excitement associated with larger places like Montreal and Vancouver, as well as the unique intellectual atmosphere of Oxford.

Lately, I have also felt as though it would be a good idea to spend a big chunk of time seeing more of the world than I have so far (though there are ethical issues that surround emissions from voluntary travel).

One thing that interferes with all of these plans is my rented apartment and the few thousand dollars worth of low-cost IKEA furniture and miscellaneous materials it contains. Finding it took quite a lot of effort, as good places in Ottawa seem to get snapped up almost instantly. That and sheer force of momentum make me hesitant to give it up, especially since that would mean finding a place to store my miscellaneous possessions, as well as a mechanism for moving them to the storage location.

It is odd how incapacitating it can be to own more things than you can carry yourself. The situation certainly suggests to me that it is wise to continue renting. My present situation already renders me immobile to an extent I find somewhat regrettable. A mortgage, property taxes, repair obligations, and the additional stuff that would inevitably accompany any kind of home ownership would be even more stifling.

I am not as badly off as I could have been. I am still using the same cheap IKEA furniture I bought straight after moving to Ottawa, even though an increasing proportion of it is held together with gaffer tape and screws I installed myself. Most of the surplus income that has accompanied full time work has likewise gone into paying off student debts, building up a cushion of savings, and buying photo gear. Photo gear may be the least anchor-like kind of possession, for me at least. For one thing, it packs a lot of dollar value into a small amount of space and weight. For another, every time I use it I want to go somewhere scenic or novel or important, so as to be able to put it to better use.

Photographing and re-photographing the same few neighbourhoods is not the more enriching experience.

Inundated in books

In order to get free shipping from Amazon.ca, I always order three books at a time.

Combine that with work, my Economist subscription, and other demands upon my time and the consequence is that I have several dozen books either ongoing or not yet started. Indeed, stacks of books now occupy my entire kitchen table.

My latest acquisitions are Primo Levi’s The Periodic Table, which was named by the Royal Institute as the best science book ever, and Bill McKibben’s edited collection of key environmental writings: American Earth: Environmental Writing Since Thoreau.

Competent, with direction

Lately, I have been feeling like it would be excellent to work for an organization that is both highly competent and structured to help people reach their potential: somewhere where management was good at identifying what each person was capable of doing, putting them to it, and then coordinating those efforts into the achievement of important outcomes. While I certainly admire people who have the self-direction necessary to make the most of their talents and skills, I don’t think I am really ready to do that myself. I think that was indicated by the relative weakness of my M.Phil thesis, which was the least successful part of my time in Oxford. Indeed, the largely undirected character of doctoral programs is one of the things that makes me most hesitant about undertaking one.

Most of my non-career jobs have been at places that generally struck me as non-competent. They muddled through and achieved success in their basic goals, but they didn’t do notable things or make the best use of the resources they had available. A few didn’t even meet that bar, and were clearly on track to eventually fail. In academic institutions and career-type jobs, I have certainly seen a lot more competence (though there are patches of incompetence everywhere). What exists less there is direction, and a willingness to try and cater tasks and an environment to what each person can do.

Perhaps there aren’t any places that strike the balance I am looking for, where each person is placed within the portion of the spectrum between direction and independence, and where the purposes being served are important and effectively met. Maybe it is just too thought- and labour-intensive to set things up in a way that makes the most of people. Alternatively, perhaps managers don’t generally have the incentive to do so. Also, there are certainly situations in which well-managed groups of people simply aren’t placed to achieve things that would be personally rewarding to those inside them – perhaps because the group is embedded in a larger organization with clashing goals.

All that said, it does seem sensible to try and seek out such a place, especially at a time in my life when I remain free of major financial or interpersonal obligations.

Free stuff in Ottawa

The following stuff is useful in general, but not useful to me. It has been cluttering up my apartment, and it seems sensible to give it to someone who will find it useful:

Things that are available now

  1. Canon LP-E5 Battery Pack: Compatible with the Canon Digital Rebel T1i, XS and XSi Digital SLRs
  2. iMac RAM:Two 1GB sticks of PC2-6400 DDR2 SDRAM, suitable for use with a variety of computers
  3. Logitech webcam: Not super high resolution, but useful for someone lacking one, or some sort of project

Things that will be available in July 2010

  1. Watch this space

Please note that I can revoke the offer to give any of this away at any time, for any reason, and without warning. That said, if there is something that looks like it will be useful to you, chances are excellent the we can find a way to get it to you.

Parc Poisson Blanc

This weekend, I had the very good fortune to be invited to join a camping expedition to Parc Poisson Blanc, located in Quebec about ninety minutes from Ottawa. We bought food, drove up, rented boats, and took them to our superb campsite – a private locale with a beach, a forested area with ground ideal for walking and setting up tents, excellent views, and even a little lagoon featuring a black whirling swarm of baby catfish. The lake water was at an ideal temperature, and the company and food were both excellent.

I had the further good fortune that Saturday was a moonless night. Out in the wilderness, a dazzling array of stars could be seen, so many as to make it hard to identify familiar constellations. The Milky Way was clearly visible. Floating on my back in the water, looking up at the sky in the middle of the night was one of the most magical things I’ve done in recent memory. It felt like such an ancient undertaking, a connection to the whole history of humanity, the Earth, and the universe.

Though short, the trip produced such a change in my mode of thinking that returning to Ottawa felt like coming back to a familiar but semi-forgotten place. It will be odd to be back at work tomorrow, but I will certainly be showing up mentally refreshed.

BOLO 2010 photos

My photos from yesterday’s blogging event are on Picasa:

I think I managed to get a shot of everyone who read, with a few of the crowd thrown in. Some more photos are in a Facebook album. I also have photos from last year’s event.

My thanks go out to David Scrimshaw, who had the cleverness and boldness to point a couple of the ceiling-mounted house lights at the microphone, greatly facilitating the photography of all present. Indeed, there were very few annoying flashes.

If anybody wants full resolution files, they can contact me. Keep in mind, the original files are about 10 megabytes a piece, at 5616 x 3744 pixels. Also, my internet connection is in terrible shape. Getting these on Picasa took hours, and many false starts.

They were pretty much all shot between 6,400 ISO and 25,600 ISO. I was expecting the venue to be a bit brighter, so I brought my 70-200 f/4 lens, whereas my 50mm f/1.8 might have been a better choice.

Does caffeine work?

You Are Not So Smart is a blog that seeks to catalog the many mental failings of human beings: from the confirmation bias to our ignorance about our past beliefs.

In one post, they argue that caffeine (coffee, specifically) mostly just alleviates caffeine withdrawal. Rather than lifting you up from ‘normal’ to a more wakeful state, it just brings you back to normal, from the depressed state that caffeine consumption establishes as your new norm:

The result is you become very sensitive to adenosine, and without coffee you get overwhelmed by its effects.

After eight hours of sleep, you wake up with a head swimming with adenosine. You feel like shit until you get that black gold in you to clean out those receptor sites.

That perk you feel isn’t adding anything substantial to you – it’s bringing you back to just above zero.

Neurologist Stephen Novella echoes this position on his blog:

The take home is that regular use of caffeine produces no benefit to alertness, energy, or function. Regular caffeine users are simply staving off caffeine withdrawal with every dose – using caffeine just to return them to their baseline. This makes caffeine a net negative for alertness, or neutral at best if use is regular enough to avoid any withdrawal.

As an experiment, I am going to try abandoning caffeine for a week or so. I will report on any notable effects, though it is always hard to determine which observed changes in ones mental life are the consequence of any particular change in circumstances, given all the complexities of life and all the failings of our mental faculties.

Blogging out loud

I have attended and enjoyed a couple of Blog Out Loud Ottawa events, at which local bloggers read one selected post in front of an audience. This year, I decided to give it a try. The event is on July 7th, at 7:00pm at Irene’s Pub on Bank Street, just north of Landsdowne Park.

My contribution will certainly be outside the norm, as most people read posts that are narrative accounts of their own personal experiences. I will almost certainly select one of my posts on climate change.

The post is meant to be from between June 2009 and June 2010, but the selection is otherwise up to me. I want to choose something that is informative and accessible, even for people without much knowledge about climate change, politics, or environmental issues.

Suggestions?

Fringe 2010: Cactus – The seduction…

This energetic and engaging one man show is definitely a lot of fun. Jonno Katz combines the script with improvised interaction with the audience, accompanying his amusing portrayal of varied characters with the physical comedy that is the highlight of the show.

The show might seem minimalist, with one actor, one costume, simple lighting, little music, and no props – but Katz brings more than enough character and energy to make it feel well furnished.

Definitely recommended, though perhaps not for those who are offended easily by references to romance or sex.

Broken clavicle x-rays

Here are some photos I snapped of the x-rays taken at the Ottawa General Hospital, at various points after my cycling accident:

May 30th – a couple of hours after the accident

T+4 days

T+19 days

In three weeks, I will get another x-ray. I have been warned that I will need to avoid any intense physical activity for a further three months after that, meaning I will miss most of the summer cycling season.

[Update: 9 July 2010] Here is an x-ray from today, showing a bit more of the affected area. The biggest difference from the T+19 shot is the round area of bone forming underneath the fracture area. The doctor told me another should form later underneath that sharp protrusion:

T+40 days

[Update: 13 August 2010] Today, the doctor said they might eventually need to operate, to remove that sharp spike of bone. I am supposed to go back in three months for another x-ray.

T+75 days

[Update: 24 November 2010] I told the doctor about how my shoulder has been aching a fair bit, since it started getting cold. He set me up with an appointment for some physiotherapy.

T+178 days

[Update: 2 March 2011] This will be the final x-ray in this series, as the doctor is now satisfied that things are healing properly. He told me the bone will still be remodelling itself for at least a year.

T+275 days