During my ten months in Ottawa, I have had significant difficulty identifying aspects of the city that might be considered cool. Thankfully, someone much cooler than me is in the city and willing to conduct an authoritative evaluation. Below is an awkward combination of a United Nations Security Council resolution and terms of reference for a contractor:
Date: 27 May 2008
Preamble:
- Appreciating that Ottawa is the capital of Canada and a significant city within Canada.
- Acknowledging that capital cities and significant cities are centres of arts and culture.
- Recognizing that Milan Ilnyckyj has failed to find evidence thereof up to the present date.
Hereby resolves that:
- A special rapporteur shall be appointed to identify what, if any, artistic or cultural merit is possessed by the city of Ottawa.
- The rapporteur shall devote a minimum of one hour per day to this task.
- The investigation conducted shall continue for one month past this date unless specifically authorized to do otherwise.
- The rapporteur appointed to this task is to be Emily Rachel Horn originally of Surrey, British Columbia.
Signed: Emily Horn, Milan Ilnyckyj
We shall see what she produces in the course of her official duties.





