‘Locks’ rhymes with… ‘socks’


in Daily updates

On the basis of a quick statistical analysis, I have determined the demographics of my sock population. Approximately 20% are single, all as the result of having tragically lost their partner. Another 20% have re-married to a partner similar enough that you need to look closely to realize the slight mismatch. 15% of the population is seriously elderly, and suffering considerable physical degradation as a result. Most commonly, that means holes where toes or heels reside. Another 15% of the population is of a nature essentially reserved for hiking: either as a thin liner sock likely to be rapidly destroyed if worn singly, or as a thick woolen outer that does not suit normal shoes and Oxford temperatures. None of this is surprising, given that the only pair of socks I have purchased since at least August of last year were the woolen hiking socks I picked up on Inis Mor, a few days ago.

As a consequence of the above, the probability of me wearing appropriate matching socks at any particular point in time is approaching zero percent as the date approaches my return to Vancouver. As with so many other things, the obvious strategy is to bring but a single pair with me and induce a massive demographic boost (due to migration, not reproduction) upon my return.

Also: Flocks, with an explanation here.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Milan August 27, 2006 at 3:17 pm

You forgot: blocks, box, clocks, fox, frocks, jocks, knocks, lox, mocks, pox, shocks, and stocks.

B August 27, 2006 at 5:11 pm

Holes in socks?

How to Darn a Sock

What a concept!

R.K. August 27, 2006 at 3:13 pm

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